Milton Keynes, host to Satan

Christian groups protested last night outside The Pitz nightclub in Milton Keynes which was hosting a festival of Satanic music. Local Satanists were understandably upset, but the “grottomaster” of the MK branch of the Church of Satan displayed a diabolical grasp of current affairs when he stated:

If things kick off, we can call upon the new Racial and Religious Hatred Bill.

Mr Stacey brought his satanic bible to the gig, intending to quote it to the protestors.

No doubt the protestors had their own bibles to quote right back at him. Stony Stratford-based pastor Robert Lightowler of the Evangelical Free Church gave Stacey taste of what to expect:

Jesus said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’

But it was Adewale Adodo of the Brent Cross-based Jesus House that put the case most succinctly:

I’m concerned that we’ll be sending out the wrong message if this is allowed to go on.

Milton Keynes is a shining example of a multicultural society and we shouldn’t let it be tainted by darkness or allow evil to gain ground in any way, shape or form.

The gig was headlined by Florida band Deicide, with support from Visceral Bleeding and Wykked Witch. Deicide are famed for songs bearing such titles as Carnage in the Temple of the Damned, Behead the Prophet (No Lord Shall Live), In Hell I Burn, When Satan Rules His World, Kill the Christian, Bastard of Christ, Blame it on God, Conquered by Sodom, Fuck Your God and Bible Basher.

Heavens above!

(Thanks to DaveB in the comments)

One Response to “Milton Keynes, host to Satan”

  1. Andy Gilmour says:

    Excellent! One load of deluded supernaturalists takes on another! Fantastic!