Breaking News: Christians Offended

While it may seem hard to believe, reports have confirmed that a group of Christians in Iowa have recently been offended.  While initially dismissed as a hoax (due to the almost unheard of notion of a religious group taking offense at something) reporters at the scene found overwhelming evidence to suggest that a number of Christians including some who wield considerable political power had been offended.

The culprit responsible for this devastating event was identified as a bus which, in a deliberate attempt to cause fear and suffering amongst the citizens of Iowa, rudely dared to acknowledge the existence of atheists.

Does the existence of atheists offend you?  Let us know, and we will gladly take this image down before it hurts you further.

Does the existence of atheists offend you? Let us know, and we will gladly take this image down before it hurts you further.

The banners, sponsored by Iowa Atheists and Freethinkers, went up on buses in the Des Moines area earlier this month but were quickly removed after the transit company was allegedly flooded with complaints.  Des Moines Area Regional Transit (DART) issued a statement to the DesMoinesRegister, explaining that the agency’s board “had not approved the signs” and “that they were put up by mistake.”

Of course, taking even a brief glimpse at this atheistic advert explains why the otherwise calm and collected Christians felt compelled to break out of character and feel offended: they were clearly provoked.

Governor Chet Culver said of the matter:

“I was disturbed, personally, by the advertisement and I can understand why other Iowans were also disturbed by the message that it sent.”

While offending Christians is not yet considered a federal offense in the state of Iowa, it is understandably taboo as the resulting onslaught of angry letter writing and overblown media attention can cause numerous health problems to the general public, most notably earache.

Buses in Greek Orthodox Mythology

While this particular bus was valiantly defeated, it is unlikely to be the last we hear of these dangerous double-decker tanks of godlessness.  For centuries, buses have been deployed by Satan in an act to undermine the Christian faith, with each model carrying its own brand of provocative insults and disturbing philosophies.  Early incarnations have included outrageously dogmatic slogans, such as “There’s probably no God” a chilling glimpse into a Godless world where people are encouraged to “stop worrying and enjoy their lives.”  We urge all readers of this article to remain indoors, plug their ears, close their eyes and pray for those who have not been blessed with the great perspective on life God has given you.


12 Responses to “Breaking News: Christians Offended”

  1. Dale says:

    Oh, ye of little faith! Did ye but have faith the size of a grain of mustard seed, ye would verily have been able to pass by that sign in thy conveyance, yea, even unto the other side of the billboard couldst thou have passed, without having been disturbed by its message, nor troubled by its implications.

  2. […] An unusally entertainingly written piece from Mediawatchwatch: While it may seem hard to believe, reports have confirmed that a group of Christians in Iowa have […]

  3. Bookemdano says:

    Atheists should not offend theists? Well, then theists should also not offend atheists. Hypocrites.

    The freedom that allows theists to practice theist religion is the same freedom they’re denying to others to not practice a religion.

  4. “I have to laugh … because I’ll cry if I don’t.”

  5. […] 18, 2009 · Leave a Comment I saw this article today courtesy of AnyEveryNot: Breaking News: Christians Offended. It’s written rather Onion-style, but it does convey the simple truth that it’s […]

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  7. ChaoticIsaac says:

    How can they be offended by that? That ad didn’t even apply to them! When they read it, they just should have said, “Actually I do believe in god, thanks for asking” and mosey along, but nooooooooooooooo they have to get their whitie tighties in a helix!

  8. Stuart W says:

    In other news, some people who eat meat have taken great offence over an advert for vegetarian meals.

  9. BrotherLove says:

    What about me? I’m offended. To me there is nothing more offensive than stupidity. End religion now.

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  11. BillE says:

    For people who supposedly do not believe in God, atheists spend a lot of time discussing God. Why? Because they know in their hearts that God exist. But their character keeps them from admitting it because they prefer to reject God. They then cover up their rejection by pretending that they don’t believe in God. Every honest Atheist will know that what I say is true. The problem is, one cannot be honest with others when they cannot be honest with themselves.