Shock as Stephen Green is revealed to be bad man

If you are surprised by this, then you haven’t been paying attention.

Not the Messiah offensive to Stephen Green

Carmarthen’s leading comedy fundamentalist, whose star has been sadly in the descendent since he helped abolish the Blasphemy Law last year, has found something else to be offended by. Not the Messiah, a Handel’s Messiah style musical version of The Life of Brian, is being promoted by Classic FM.

Not The Messiah: At a cinema near you on March 25th!

The horror of this situation is passionately expressed by the director of Christian Voice in a round-robin email to supporters and on his website:

It has the song from ‘Life of Brian’ which ‘Brian’ sang while hanging from the cross, ‘Always look on the bright side of life.’ Crucifixion is not funny. It even has ‘Hail to the Shoe’ sung to the music of the Hallelujah Chorus. That isn’t funny either.

Green urges his supporters to PRAY that Classic FM pull the ads, nobody turns up at the cinemas, and that Eric Idle finds Jesus. He also wants them to write to the MD of Classic FM and let them know:

that his promotion of ‘Not the Messiah’ offends and insults you and Stephen Green. If you are a regular listener, tell him so.

Actually he says “Almighty God” instead of “Stephen Green” in the above quote. Sometimes it is really hard to tell the difference between the two. They are virtually indistinguishable.

Green fails again

In what is proving to be a frustrating few days for everyone’s favourite comedy Christian, Stephen “Birdshit” Green of biblical fundamentalist group Stephen Green’s voice (aka Christian Voice), Ofcom ruled Rowan Atkinson’s “wedding feast at Cana” sketch in We Are Not Amused to be “not in breach” of the broadcasting code.

(Sketch starts about 1:50 in)

As we reported back in November, Green sent out a circular saying:

It was just insulting, mocking, crass and disrespectful. Civilised, decent people do not behave like that. Plainly Atkinson thinks there is not enough disrespect in our society already today.

In its report, Ofcom said that:

There was evidence that the complaints were part of an orchestrated campaign.

And concluded, in a tone pleasingly reminiscent of someone explaining the obvious to a halfwit,

this was a comedy sketch, by a performer well-known for his depictions of clergymen in comedic situations. The sketch was an absurd interpretation of a well-known biblical miracle story, and was not intended as a serious interpretation of Christian belief, nor would it be realistic to make such an inference. It superimposed onto the original story, the concept of how some people might react today, if Jesus were to appear in modern society. In making an analogy between miracles and magic, the comedian used the well-known comic device of placing theological figures in a contemporary and everyday human situation. The overall tone of the sketch was affectionate and not abusive of the Christian religion.

Ofcom considered that the approach would have been well understood by the vast majority of the audience and would not have gone beyond what would normally be expected in a programme of this type.

Viz features Stephen Green again

Regular readers of Viz comic (isn’t everybody?) will know that figure-of-fun bigot Stephen Green of failed fundie lobby group Christian Voice is portrayed frequently in their pages. This month’s edition carries a particularly satisfying depiction of him in Hell.

In the strip “Danny’s Inferno” the lord mayor accidentally falls through the doors of young Danny Alighieri’s portable Hell in a Handcart, and finds himself trapped for eternity:

<b>Fate worse than death</b>: The mayor is forced to eat scotch egg crumbs from Stephen Green's beard

Fate worse than death: The mayor is forced to eat scotch egg crumbs from Stephen Green's beard

As you can see from this close-up, the artist has really captured his essence:

This month’s issue also features a “Gilbert Ratchet” story in which God is accidentally killed by a vicar wielding a splat-the-rat bat at the church fete.

Bailiffs knock on Stephen Green’s door

The latest news from our “As ye sow, so shall ye reap” department is that bailiffs have paid a visit to Stephen “Birdshit” Green, the national director of failed fundie lobby group Stephen “Birhshit” Green’s Voice (aka Christian Voice), on behalf of Mark Thompson.

They served him a statutory demand for £55,000 – Thompson’s legal costs. The co-defendant in the blasphemy case, John Thoday, has yet to claim his £35,000.

Curiously, the press release on CV’s website is still telling lies about the production Jerry Springer: The Opera:

Jerry Springer the Opera portrayed Jesus Christ as a nappy-wearing sexual deviant

In fact, as has been pointed out to Green several times to no avail, the Jesus Christ character was wearing a loincloth.

Is it any wonder God is so angry with Green when he keeps breaking the 9th Commandment like that?

Green petition update

We reported last week that Stephen “Birdshit” Green, national director of the failed lobby group Stephen Green’s Voice (aka Christian Voice), faces bankruptcy over legal fees accrued by his attempted blasphemy prosecution.

He set up a petition begging the BBC and Avalon to waive their fees of £90,000. This prompted a counter-petition urging that the costs should not be waived, sponsored by “Anyone who can’t quite believe Stephen Green’s cheek”.

The signatories of Green’s petition currently number 1,282, and the “pay up” petition stands at 1,050. However, the number of spoof signatories on Green’s petition looks close to 50%, judging by the anti-CV comments on the front page alone.

So the public seems to be overwhelmingly antipathetic to Green’s cause. Not that this will lead him to consider for a moment that he is wrong – Green is, after all, a man of great faith in himself. In fact, he will probably consider it a vindication of his opinion that the UK is a nation in the grip of Satan.

Sign the pay up petition here.

Stephen Green faces bankruptcy

The nation’s favourite frothing fundie, Stephen Green of Stephen Green’s Voice (aka Christian Voice), is facing bankruptcy after a court ordered him to pay £90,000 costs for his failed blasphemy case against the BBC.

And he is feeling rather bitter about it:

It should be enough for Mark Thompson and Jonathan Thoday that they got away with blasphemy, insulting God and the Lord Jesus Christ, at least in this life. For these rich, powerful men to pursue me into the bankruptcy courts over money I don’t have would be vindictive.

Vindictive? Like Green’s relentless self-interested pursuit of the BBC and John Thoday, and his gloating over the dearth of royalties accruing to Stewart Lee and Richard Thomas as a result of his censorship campaign wasn’t vindictive?

While we hesitate to celebrate anyone’s financial ruin, it is hard to feel sympathy for the whingeing hypocrite as he begs Thompson and Thoday to waive their charges. And we seriously doubt it will shut him up.

But with his recent national humiliation at the hands (or rather cloaca) of a seagull, the fact that his actions actually precipitated the abolition of the blasphemy law, and now this pending bankruptcy, one does wonder what kind of message he thinks his imaginary friend is trying to convey to him.

UPDATE: (28 June) In a mailshot Green asks supporters to beg Thompson and Thoday to waive their fees. Bizarrely, he also seems to think the comedian Frank Skinner “may be sympathetic”, and suggests writing to him too!

Green’s message from God

By popular demand, here is the highlight of Channel 4’s In the Name of God documentary – the minute-long clip in which Stephen Green receives a message from on high.


Green to open “sexual healing” school

H from stepsPerhaps realising that as a Defender of the Precious Name of Our Almighty Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ he has been worse than useless, Stephen Green has intimated that he is thinking about getting into the sexual therapy business.

Christian sexual therapy, that is – where they attempt to “cure” gay people.

The revelation came during an interview with H from Steps (aka Ian Watkins) for BBC Wales. H was filming an investigation into gay rights. As part of the programme, he spoke to Green, telling him he was “completely happy” being gay. Green replied,

Jeremy (sic) Dahmer was happy murdering people, does that make it right?

H from Steps wonders aloud if “being completely happy and at one with yourself and being in a happy loving relationship is the same as murdering somebody?” to which Green responds,

Sin is sin … in the eyes of God, sin is sin…

He then went on to reveal that he was “actively thinking of enabling a sexual healing clinic in Wales”.

Keep up the good work, Stephen. We’ll have a secular constitution in no time.

Green fury at Lords Springer verdict

A bit of light entertainment for a Tuesday afternoon: Stephen Green raging at the House of Lords, who dared defy his will by rejecting his blasphemy appeal against Jerry Springer: The Opera because it “does not raise an arguable point of law of general public importance which ought to be considered by the House at this time”.

Apparently Jesus Christ, Mary, the mother of the Lord, and Almighty God may now be ridiculed and insulted on stage and by broadcasters free from the sanctions of the law.

And quite right, too.

It means there is no redress in British law against those who portrayed Jesus Christ on stage and on the BBC as an infantile coprophiliac, told by the character of Jerry Springer in the show to ‘Grow up, for Christ’s sake’.

That should be, “Grow up, for Christ’s sake, and put some fucking clothes on,” actually.

Contrary to the finding of these Law Lords, it is indeed a matter of great general public importance at this very time that the Almighty Creator of the universe and the Saviour of mankind have been insulted and vilified

And Stephen should know. He is in regular and direct communication with the Almighty Creator of the universe and Saviour of mankind, after all. He lives in Carmarthen.

It brings down the judgement of God on us all. I love my neighbour and I do not want that to happen… Christians will now have to take matters into their own hands when Christ is insulted on stage and on screen.

Ooh! “Take matters into their own hands,” eh? That will be such fun to watch!

A spokeswoman for the BBC declined to say much about the verdict, but what she did say was succinct enough:

We don’t intend to indulge Christian Voice any further.

Don’t worry, Stephen. MWW will continue to indulge you as long as you keep providing us with entertainment of this calibre.

UPDATE: (5th March) IC Wales has more quotes from the man desperately trying to come to terms with reality:

To be frank, the decision of their Lordships Bingham, Hoffman and Hope is a blatant, shameless political manoeuvre by a God-defying elite intent on looking after their own.

Lord Hoffman in particular has voted in the House of Lords for no-fault divorce and for gay rights. A judge like that would always be prejudiced against those seeking to uphold righteousness.

Furthermore, and in retrospect, it seems there was no way the establishment could countenance the Director-General of the BBC appearing in the dock accused of blasphemy.

UPDATE: Michael Phillips, Stephen Green’s solicitor, has a whiny letter in The Times.

The law which is in place to protect that which is central to millions of people in Britain (15 per cent of whom regularly go to church) will offer no redress against gratuitous offence against God and their faith. With only three prosecutions in 100 years, it can hardly be said that the law has a chilling effect on free speech. Indeed, Richard Dawkins has never been threatened with a blasphemy prosecution. The law is there to stop only the most outrageous, spiteful, gratuitous acts which serve no legitimate aim in a democratic society, other than to insult the Christian faith.

Look at it this way, Michael Phillips: you believe in shit, we take the piss. Piss-taking discourages shit-believing. And that can only be a good thing for society as a whole.

MWW – taking the piss out of shit since 2005.